Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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