Sponge bath it is.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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