shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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