Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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