We won't sleep together?
wanna go halves on a baby?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
