boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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