Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
