He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
