Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
