just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
