He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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