I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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