I want to stick my p in your. b.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
