Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize