I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize