i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
