I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
