btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
