I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize