just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
