he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
