Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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