i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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