she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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