You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
