this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
