Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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