just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
