I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize