I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
