We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
