he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
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