ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I don't deserve a penis
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
