party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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