I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
