This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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