Welp...herpes.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
