Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Let's get the cat blown out
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
