Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
