I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
