yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
