and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
