yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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