Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
