I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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