At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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