tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Randomize
