Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize