A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
