So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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