i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize