No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
