For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
