We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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