Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
