Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I bet he comes in French.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
