I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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