i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
