If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
