I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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