You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
