Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
