What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
