Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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